Brad’s Blog – “Fade (Dark Days)”
Without givin’ too much away, “Fade (Dark Days)” will be featured on: ‘Ghosts!’
I’ll never forget sitting in a hotel room in Ocean City, MD in 2006 and scribbling out the lyrics to a track called ‘Dark Days.’ All I wanted to do is drink and hide; the summer parties and whole energy was very contradictory to how I was feeling. I was essentially going through a mental breakdown, while the rest of the world seemed content to go about their vacation – couldn’t they see I was slipping down the rabbit hole and needed people to share my misery with? [Note: Sarcasm].
I spent an entire week obsessing over this particular tune; Lissy was helping me through a very dark time in my life, while I was desperately searching for the right words – they were everywhere (napkins, receipts, texts t’ self, etc.). The song was inspired by an explanation or diagnosis she presented to me, referencing St. John’s ‘A Dark Night of the Soul.’ In hindsight, I think that particular poem speaks volumes about my psychology. I felt it then, but I know it now – if that makes sense.
We spent the entire week attempting to be social and animated, but more often than not we were discussing my obsessive thoughts and trying to figure out a lot of deep/philosophical things that were devastating my mind [all while loaded on drinks]; shellin’ crabs was a mere distraction. I’m not necessarily sure she had as much to figure out that week, but I did and she was there to listen.
Lisa always wanted to be a psychiatrist; lucky for her, she found me. She has always been very instrumental in the process, which I’m grateful for; she has always been there to keep me from losing it entirely. Were the drinks necessary? Yes – at the time, they very much were.
To say the least, it was a huge transitional period in my life. When I felt the song was finally written, I was already beginning to emerge from the psychological hole I’d fallen into – I wanted nothing to do with the song, but still carried the lyrics around in my guitar case for years. A couple months later I played it for Gary who thought it was really something people would connect with and needed to be recorded, which was odd to me because it was usually I whom was rallying to ‘record this’ or ‘record that.’
We would tinker around with it from time-t’-time, but it never got wings until this year. Timing is everything – I had noticed a lot of friends transitioning and going through a lot of difficult times. Some of these people I would have liked to have helped in some way; the major roadblock was figuring out how to do it – delicately. Lately, I’ve also felt as if I’m transitioning/transcending [again]; luckily, I’m all too used to how it feels. Needless-t’-say, it felt right to convey this particular track at this time.
That said and 5 years later, it’ll be releas’d. I’m proud of it, glad it is finally coming t’ light and hopefully will be a lil’ assurance to someone [out there] who is hitting a low spot in their life.
I’d like to thank Gary Holmes for seeing the songs potential and encouraging me to bring it to life. I’d also like to thank Bryan Holmes for working his ass off to make the guitar parts a lil’ something special – a little more than just the chords and bare bones. He did an excellent job of interpreting it; writing in a more collaborative fashion [on this record] was fun – it’s always a pleasure to share your vision with the friends you consider family!
Ok! So, that’s the blog…not necessarily snarky, as promised, but…onto writing some mu-sick!